im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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