Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
