i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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