i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
