I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
