so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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