So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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