Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
