guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I need to align my fucking chakras
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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