I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
