There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
