So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
