So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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