Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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