she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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