and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
