I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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