Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
