You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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