Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
