Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
