Well douche your snatch and let's go!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
