she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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