cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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