Sponge bath it is.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My life is pants optional.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
