I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
