im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
