I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
