My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
