forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
