My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
