Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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