whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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