God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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