This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
