I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
