i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
