well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
