You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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