Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
