we have officially lost it.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
