Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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