How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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