suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
