Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
