You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
