Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
