Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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