Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
