It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
