And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I am midnight drunk by noon
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
