I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
