Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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